By Natalie Gilbert Palin

“The day our son was born my heart broke”

Exactly one month after Jackson’s birth, I started to write our birth story. The quote above was the first line. I never quite completed the essay, but I knew how I wanted it to end.

I know the first line sounds depressing, but I had a plan. The essay ends with this realization I had made:

“Earlier I stated that my heart broke the day Jackson came into this world. That desperate, panicked, all-consuming fear I felt literally hurt my heart. However, I now know my heart had to break. It had to rip to pieces because loving Jackson requires a different kind of heart, a different kind of person, that I had and was.

Jackson’s love healed my heart. His love sewed it back together piece by piece. My heart had to break so that it could be reassembled to be big enough and strong enough to be Jackson’s mommy.”

In September of 2015, I remembered my unfinished birth story when a speaker at the Rockin’ Moms Retreat said this statement:

“When your heart cracks open, it allows the light to shine in.”

How lucky am I that I get to bask in Jackson’s light every day?